How NOT To Get The Ex Back

So I'm sure you have read plenty of articles on "how to" get the ex back, but today I will strictly focus on "how not" to get the ex back. You might consider me an absolute expert in this field, as I have tried every single one of these horrible tactics when trying to get ex's back, at one time or another. In fact while I'm on the subject, let me explain how I became a "relationship expert" in the first place.

Quite honestly, I was the dude I'm going to be telling you not to be from here on out. I have to admit I knew absolutely nothing about the laws of attraction, or the proper methods to getting the ex back. I messed up so many relationships, and then tried to get them back so many ways, I learned what NOT to do first. Finally, with a little insight from others, and plain trial and error, I figured a lot of this stuff out. So believe me when I say I know what I'm talking about. I have more than "been there, done that", when it comes to relationship troubles. Just keep in mind, that if someone like me can get his stuff straight, anyone can! So here's what NOT to do to get your ex back.

1. Come immediately running back saying, "I'm sorry baby. I'll change this time. I promise!
2. Write an emotional, heart-felt letter about how you are a jerk, and they are the best thing known to man.
3. Call them up yelling about how it's all their fault, and they could have been a better girlfriend.
4. Ask their brother/sister/mother what happened, and ask them if they can talk to her for you.
5. Go to their job, and ask if you can talk to them for a minute.(aka stalking)

As I have stated before, your first move is to chill, step back, and play cool as the Fonz. The above tactics do NOT work. I tried them. You need to step away, and clear your head. Then and only then, you will be ready to proceed.